We love Brabus here at Car Enthusiast. When most makers are limited by things like emissions regulations, material costs and market conditions, Brabus is worried only about the pesky laws of physics and incompetent tyre manufacturers making rubber that might burst above 200mph.

Here's its latest inconceivable sojourn into the market: the Brabus G V12 S Biturbo. It's a 4x4 with 690bhp and 973lb.ft of torque. We'll leave a space for you to finish laughing and scrape yourself off the floor now...

...ok then. Those crazy Germans at Brabus have conspired to make possibly the single most irrelevant - and therefore coolest - car on the planet. And to put its figures into perspective, it's a single lb.ft short of having twice the torque of a Lamborghini Murcielago, and it's got 50bhp more power. Here's how it's done: take the Merc S 600 saloon's V12, increase the displacement, change the camshafts, strap on a pair of bigger turbochargers, make the intercooler better and the exhaust more free-flowing - and voila: a mentalist 4x4 for new money rap wannabes everywhere. It's Euro IV compliant, mind. You know, for income tax and that.

Peak torque is actually reined in at low speeds to 811lb.ft from its 973lb.ft peak, to help prevent three-point turns endangering the people on the pavement, but it will still rocket to 62mph in 4.3 seconds and reach a limited 150mph. The single piece 21-inch light alloy wheels house massive Brabus brakes, and the suspension, believe it or not, is re-worked for comfort.

Daytime running lights affixed to a body that is, let's face it, a pretty basic yet whopping great chunk of black-on-black make this a terrifying sight. The running boards are illuminated too. And, because the Brabus G-Class won't just be sold to time-rich narcotics dealers, the maker has seen fit to make the interior a 'fully functional all-terrain office' - though on closer inspection it seems the 'office' is in fact a 'chill out zone', with a DVD changer, a TV and a PlayStation all connected to wireless headphones.

We're not told how much CO₂ this bad boy spews out, but it will cost around £335,000. How will Brabus keep on top of demand?